An Innocent Halloween (Holiday Heat Book 1) Read online

  That… that surprised me, I couldn’t lie. I hadn’t expected him to be so enthusiastic, not just about the plan but about me. Mr. Conner’s gaze flicked over to me for the barest moment and I thought I saw—

  No, I wasn’t sure what I saw and I wasn’t going to speculate, I wasn’t. That was a dangerous road to go down and I was already in over my head with this man despite barely knowing him.

  And yet, just looking at him, I could feel myself heating up, my stomach twisting and not in that unpleasant way from nerves but in a way that I didn’t dare to name.

  “I’m glad that we could come to an agreement,” Philip said, standing up and extending his hand. “We want the best for Tabitha and I’m glad we can move forward on getting her a clean bill of health.”

  Mr. Conner shook Philip’s hand, and then—he looked him in the eye and gave Philip such a firm look, the look of… of an alpha wolf looking down at a young pup. It made me feel a little frightened for Philip’s sake. Mr. Conner was clearly trying to intimidate the guy. If Philip felt intimidated, he didn’t show it. Philip was really good about hiding his emotions that way. I had always struggled with that. Well, not so much with my joy and my excitement. I was good at hiding those because, well, you never knew when it was going to last, did you?

  But my anger and my frustration, it felt like those were always on display for everyone to see. That no matter how hard I tried to control myself and to hide them, people knew when I was upset with them. When I was disappointed in myself. When I was pissed off. Pippa said it was because I had never really had a chance to get to socialize with people, I was so busy being an overachiever in my professional field. Maybe she was right.

  But Philip was good about remaining calm, and looking at him, I couldn’t tell if he even registered the way that Mr. Connor was looking at him. And despite my concern, I also couldn’t help the strange thrill in the pit of my stomach. It was clear that Mr. Conner was a man who could take control and could command a room, and it left me breathless for reasons I couldn’t even begin to think about.

  After Mr. Conner left the office, Philip made a face. “That guy squeezed my hand so hard I thought he might break a metacarpal or two.” He shook out his hand.

  “I can’t figure that man out,” I admitted. “He’s… he seems… I don’t even know how he seems, that’s how confusing he is.”

  Philip shrugged. “Well hey, remember, stress can affect the patients’ family members in a myriad of ways. He’s going through a tough time, with his little girl. And he’s far from the worst family member I’ve ever had to deal with. I’ll wager it’s the same for you. So we’ll just be patient. I’m sure as we get to know him better he’ll warm up.”

  I nodded. It was true, we’d had far worse family members, family members who screamed at us, who claimed we were doing everything wrong and that we were helping to kill their child, family members who would act like we were idiots and the scum of the earth. I’d had people ask me if we really all hooked up with each other like in medical drama shows, and one time I’d watched a patient’s father get into an actual physical fight with a doctor.

  Emotions ran high, and never more so than when it was the life of your child at stake.

  Philip put his hand on my shoulder. “I’m impressed with your treatment plan. That was solid work. If I’m not careful you’ll be replacing me as chief before you know it.”

  I smiled, my stomach warming. I loved positive feedback. Philip was someone who was always very good about communicating with his staff about what he appreciated from us as well as the times that we could do better. You always knew where you stood with him. I thrived off of feedback so I especially appreciated it.

  “Thank you, I’m glad to hear it. But I don’t think I’ll be replacing you anytime soon, you do a great job running this place.” Philip was my mentor, a decade older than I was, and while he didn’t act like it in his personality—he always seemed to be eternally young and energetic—it showed in his excellent work and firm, guiding hand.

  Philip’s hand dropped from my shoulder. “I was wondering if you were busy later. I’ve got reservations to check out a new restaurant downtown that I’ve heard great things about. Would you care to join me?”

  Ahhhh… no. No, that wouldn’t be a good idea.

  Our hospital, like most hospitals, in fact, had a very strict policy on employee fraternization. We dealt in saving lives. People’s limbs, their quality of life, their births and their deaths all hung in the balance here. The hospital didn’t want to deal with anything that could be considered negligence. It could leave us open to be sued by unhappy patients and their families. People could claim favoritism, or that a doctor was distracted, or any number of things because a doctor or nurse or some other staff member was in a relationship with another staff member. Dating staff or even patients was off limits.

  “I’m not sure that’s a good idea,” I told him. “It wouldn’t be appropriate.”

  I didn’t feel anything romantic for Philip, although I enjoyed his company and wouldn’t mind going out to have dinner with him, spend some time relaxing outside of work in a friendly capacity. But the board might not see it that way. They could easily see it as a romantic date, and then I’d be screwed. Philip was the chief oncologist who had been here for years longer than I had, and he was a man. I knew how this would go if we got into trouble—I’d be the one getting the sack.

  Philip frowned. “It’s just dinner, Claire. Honestly sometimes I think the rules around here are too onerous. We can’t just grab a bite to eat together because we’re scared of getting fired? What’s that?”

  “I’m sorry.” I shook my head. “Maybe it’s a risk you can take, but it’s not one that I’m willing to.” Especially at a fancy, popular new restaurant downtown. That was a total setup for romance. “I’ll be happy to grab lunch with you in the cafeteria to make up for it.”

  Philip laughed, all smiles again. “I’ve got meetings all day, but I’ll take a rain check.”

  “All right.” I smiled back, and left him to his work.

  I was lucky to have a good mentor and friend like Philip. Unless of course—

  But no, he would’ve told me if he meant it romantically, wouldn’t he?

  I shoved the thought out of my head. I wasn’t interested in Philip and I was sure that if he’d been interested in me in that way he would’ve said so long ago. I had patients to get to, and I couldn’t let Philip, or Mr. Conner, distract me from them.

  5

  Alex

  Tabitha and I were coloring together, her head bent low over her page as she drew what she wanted her dream house to look like. Tabitha wanted to grow up to live in Hawaii and run a cupcake shop. I thought it was an excellent idea.

  Well, she was eight. Whatever idea she had for her future was an excellent idea. I wasn’t going to stifle any of her dreams. When I’d been growing up I’d had no dreams whatsoever, none besides getting away from my father. It wasn’t until Tommy’s family had taken me in that I’d started to dream about what a future actually could be, to think about what I could possibly achieve for myself. I wanted Tabitha to have everything that Lacey and I hadn’t had as children. I wanted her to feel like she could shoot for the moon and that I’d be right there supporting her. Even if she ended up failing. Failure was okay. I just… I wanted her to feel safe with me, and to feel happy.

  I was impressed by how happy she managed to be right now, actually. Her ability to keep her spirits up despite her situation was amazing. She had lost her parents, and now her life hung in the balance, but she was keeping her spirits up. I felt like I was learning more from this experience than she was.

  The urge to shelter her, to protect her, and not let anything hurt her, was overwhelmingly strong. If I could have reached inside of her and pulled out her disease, every bit of it, until she was healthy, I would have. Unfortunately, diseases didn’t work like that. I could get her into a great school, I could talk to her about how to handle bull
ies, I could teach her to respect herself, I could provide her with love and gifts and vacations around the world.

  But no amount of money, or love, could stop a disease. That was up to the work of the doctors. It was the one thing beyond my ability to control and for the first time since I’d been a child, dodging my father’s fists, I felt helpless.

  “Great job,” I said, commenting on Tabitha’s drawing. “What do you think your most popular cupcake flavor will be?”

  “Red velvet,” Tabitha replied. “Everybody loves red velvet.”

  “They sure do.”

  “Except you, Uncle Alex, because you’re weird.”

  “Hey, if you can get me to like cream cheese icing I’m all yours, but until then I’ll stick with chocolate. You can’t go wrong with chocolate.”

  Tabitha giggled and I found myself grinning helplessly back at her. I had never intended to be a father. That hadn’t been in the cards. Kids? Sure, I liked them. But after the horrible example I’d had growing up I hadn’t really trusted myself to be a good father when my time came. And I had my company and my charities, those were my babies. They took up so much of my time, how could I possibly devote enough time to my child as well?

  Ever since I’d laid eyes on Tabitha, though, I’d loved her. And now she was my child, for good or ill. My company and my charity work mattered more to me now that I had her, but in a different way. I wanted to do better, give more to help the world, treat my employees better, all of it so that she had a good example. I wanted to be the kind of man she could look up to, the kind of man where she could say, Uncle Alex showed me the kind of person I wanted to be.

  My life was about her, now. And if anything happened to her… it didn’t even bear thinking about. I’d be crushed, to say the least. She was my world.

  Tabitha yawned, and I took that as a sign to start scooping up the crayons and putting everything away. “Feeling tired, Ladybug?”

  “No,” she lied.

  I chuckled. “Well, actually, I’m feeling pretty tired. Would it be okay if I read you some stories?”

  “Ooh, yes!”

  I pulled The Secret Garden out of the bag I’d brought full of games and activities for Tabitha. I thought that it would be the perfect book for her age, and, well. In the book, there was a little boy who thought he was going to die, who thought he was deathly ill, and he got better. He lived and he thrived. I had to hope… I had to hope that it would inspire Tabitha. Keep her spirits up and keep her determined to live.

  Tabitha settled herself against me as I opened the book. “Now, where were we?” I asked.

  “Chapter three!” she announced.

  It warmed my heart how quickly she had adjusted to me in her life. The first time Tabitha had hugged me, I’d almost burst into tears, and I wasn’t the kind of person who was inclined to cry. But it just meant so much to me, that she wanted to snuggle up against me, she wanted me to hug her, she trusted me. She let me be her family.

  I read to her until I could feel her getting heavy against me, her head falling to the side against my chest. I kept reading for a little while longer, just to be sure that she was really asleep, and then continued to read as I slid out from beside her and tucked her in bed. Then I went back to the place I’d been at when she’d fallen asleep and put the bookmark back in.

  She looked so small and young when she was asleep. Tabitha was lively, energetic, or as much as she could be with her illness, and so it made her seem bigger somehow, older. But now, as she rested, her small chest moving up and down with her deep, even breaths, breaths that I could only hope stayed deep and even… she looked even younger than her eight years, and my heart cracked all over again.

  I gently brushed her hair back, then busied myself cleaning up the toys and books. Tabitha was going to be fine, I told myself sternly. She was going to heal, we had a treatment plan, we would take care of her. The doctors would take care of her.

  The door opened and Dr. Montague—Claire, as I had taken to calling her in my head, even though I knew I had no right to—slipped in. She paused when she saw Tabitha asleep, and a warm, gentle smile spread across her face. It was like watching a misty sunrise and my heart skipped a beat.

  Claire checked Tabitha’s levels silently, then noted everything on her chart, nodding at me as she went to leave.

  I couldn’t talk with her in front of Tabitha, but I had to speak with her. I wanted to know how things were going.

  I followed her out into the hallway. “Dr. Montague?”

  She turned and I gently took her by the elbows, pulling her aside. “How—how is she doing?”

  Claire looked at me like she was expecting a fight, but when I asked about Tabitha, her face softened. Huh. Interesting. Did she think that I was going to argue with her about something? Whatever would have given her that impression? “Her levels are good. I think the treatment plan that we’ve devised is the right one.”

  The ever-present knot of worry in my chest loosened up just a bit. “I’m—I’m glad to hear it. I trust your judgment on this.”

  “I’m glad to hear that, Mr. Conner.”

  “I do have a question for you, though. Does Dr. Franklin often turn over the development of treatment plans to his underlings?”

  Claire visibly recoiled, her face growing hard and angry, and I realized that I’d said something to upset her. But what?

  “Mr. Conner, I’m going to level with you.” Her voice was still quiet, respectful for those in the rooms who were sleeping, but it might as well have been a whip crack for how hard and snapping it was. “I might be young, but I graduated the top of my class and I’ve worked my way into this position by being the best. If you don’t feel comfortable having a young doctor, or a woman doctor, in charge of your daughter’s care, then you are more than welcome to inform Dr. Franklin of your concerns and be asked to move to the care of another… what was that charming word you used? Underling?”

  Her tone was nothing short of acidic by the end, and she raised an eyebrow at me as she finished her sentence. I realized in a moment of horror that she had been completely misreading me this entire time. My question about her age back when we’d first met, my behavior, I must’ve come across as a total asshole. Dammit.

  Claire tried to turn away, to leave, but I grabbed her by the elbow again and kept her with me. “I think you’re mistaken about why I’m asking you this question.”

  “Oh?” Claire stands her ground. “Just like I’m mistaken about why you asked after my age the very second you met me, I’m sure. Or why you were glaring at myself and Dr. Franklin during our meeting. I’m sure that I’m completely mistaken and none of this has anything to do with my age or my gender.”

  “Actually…” I wasn’t about to admit to her that I had been touching myself in the shower, bringing myself to orgasm thinking about her. But I could be honest with her about my suspicions with Dr. Franklin. “I wasn’t wondering about your age because I thought you were underqualified or too young to do your job, and I hadn’t even thought about your gender.”

  “Is that so?” Claire squared her shoulders a little. “You don’t think I’m underqualified to do anything?”

  “On the contrary, I believe the opposite. You’re more than qualified. Your treatment plan sounded like the best bet for Tabitha, and if you’re younger and you’re working in a hospital that means that you must be exceptionally qualified to do so. You can’t cheat or sleep your way into a medical degree. You just can’t. If you’re here that means you jumped through all the hoops.”

  Claire stared at me in confusion, blinking rapidly, like she had to recalibrate and re-sort her thoughts about me. “Oh.”

  “I’m trying to point out that I think… well it’s not any of my business really but I can’t help but be concerned. I’m a business owner, I’m a boss, and that means I have to be aware of how I’m treating my employees and that includes things like… favoritism.”

  “Favoritism?”

  “I asked about D
r. Franklin assigning you to do the treatment plan not because I doubt you but because I suspect him of giving you special treatment.”

  “Special treatment?” Claire looked confused. It was adorable. “I don’t know what you mean. Dr. Franklin is my mentor, but…”

  I couldn’t help myself. It might have been rude, but it was honestly rather cute that she had no idea when the man was staring at her so obviously. “Dr. Montague, I’m saying that your boss has a thing for you. It’s obvious.”

  Claire’s mouth fell open.

  6

  Claire

  I was honestly in shock. I didn’t know what to say. I’d had my brief suspicion but—but surely—I mean, if Philip was so obvious that even a man who’d only just met him, only spent twenty minutes with him, could tell, surely I would’ve figured it out myself, right?

  And Philip would never… he was a professional. He would never try to violate the boundaries set down by the hospital. He wouldn’t go against the rules like that, not for me and not for anyone. He wouldn’t betray my trust like that. He—he wouldn’t invite me to a dinner and act like it was casual and between friends if he really wanted it to be a date.

  I felt confused, worried, hurt, betrayed, my head was spinning. This must be what it felt like to go into shock from, say, blood loss, this complete inability to process, this feeling of numbness because it was just all too much.

  “You must be mistaken,” I managed to stammer out. He had to be. After all, Mr. Conner had only known Dr. Franklin for, what, twenty minutes? I had known Philip for years. “Dr. Franklin is a professional. He would never cross those kind of professional boundaries.”

  Mr. Conner shook his head. “With all due respect, Dr. Montague, you seem to be a fantastic and excellent doctor who knows her work. But as a person, I think that you might still have some things to learn. If you’ll permit an old man his moment of ‘young whippersnapper’ attitude.” He winked at me.