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  1

  Ted

  Two months before I finally gave into my desire for Veronica, I was behind in my appointments.

  That happened occasionally. I had a long waiting list of people wanting my services and so I tried to get through as many patients as I reasonably could every day. I didn’t want people to have to wait any longer than they had to if they wanted to be parents.

  But that also meant that sometimes… I overbooked myself. Patients took longer, wanted to talk more, than I had planned, and so I then had to be careful not to speed through my other appointments as a result. I wanted to make sure that all of my patients got the time and attention that they deserved from me. I hadn’t become the best damn fertility doctor in the state by lacking consideration for my patients.

  I hurried out of my last appointment and just followed where Bridget, my head nurse, pointed for my next patient. I didn’t even have time to look at the roster beforehand and get an idea of what this person needed and why they had come to me for help.

  “Thanks,” I told Bridget, who just rolled her eyes at me fondly. She was in some ways like the mother I’d never had - although I tried not to think of her too much like that. Professionalism and all. But it was hard when I’d never had a mother and Bridget kept looking after me. She even made lunch for me a few times because I’d been, quote, ‘working myself to death’.

  Bridget handed me the patient’s chart. “Just go be your charming self,” she told me.

  I ignored that little tease and went down the hall. I was a good looking guy, if I could toot my own horn for a second, and apparently that was something my patients liked, even the ones who were happily married. I guess it just gave them something to look forward to while they were busy getting their bodies messed with. Going through the fertility process could be nerve wracking, and so I think the fun of having a cute doctor, helped patients to distract themselves from any fears or doubts they might have.

  I walked into the room, already speaking my usual spiel. “Good afternoon, ma’am, I…”

  The patient looked up at me from contemplating some of the pictures on the wall, and I froze.

  Veronica DeMarcus.

  Holy shit.

  I hadn’t seen Veronica since high school, when she’d dumped me the night of the prom over a phone call. It had been so thoughtless, so callous, so out of character for her that at first I hadn’t been able to believe it. But then she’d ignored all my calls, all attempts to speak with her. She’d treated me like I wasn’t even there.

  And I’d had to come to terms with the fact that the woman I’d been in love with had just decided to drop me like I was nothing. Like all our afternoons helping each other with our homework, trading secrets, going on long walks, daydreaming about a better future for ourselves… had all meant nothing.

  Veronica stared at me, horror and shame in her eyes, and I realized that she had no idea that I was supposed to be her doctor, just as I had - until this moment - had no idea she was my patient.

  Then I realized I was still staring at her like an idiot.

  I stepped further into the client room, closing the door behind me. “Ro…Veronica.”

  She’d always hated when I called her Roni in front of others. Oh, sure, that nickname was fine when we were alone, but in front of anyone else she had to be Miss Veronica. Debutante, from blue blood old money, always put together, not a hair out of place.

  Of course I’d loved getting her all riled up, getting her hair messy when I’d had her spread out beneath me, moaning my name, her sweet pussy dripping wet for me. We’d been each other’s first, exploring each other’s bodies together and figuring out what we liked and what we didn’t. Just two teenagers stupidly in love and learning how it all worked.

  Or at least, I’d been in love.

  I’d enjoyed getting her to scrunch up her nose at me in annoyance right before she blushed, which she’d done every time I would poke at that perfect princess façade she had going on. My friends had all thought I was insane for dating her.

  She’s so stuck up, they would always say. She’s a snob. Just a rich bitch. And those were some of the tamer insults. I had never stopped defending her. Veronica had been kind and sweet to me, not like most of the other spoiled brats I’d had to deal with at my high school. I had insisted that she was different and had told the guys to lay off.

  By the end, though, I hadn’t known - still didn’t know - which Veronica was the real one.

  Was the girl who held my hand like she’d never let go the real Veronica? Or was the callous girl who’d broken up with me by phone on prom night the real Veronica?

  I had no clue. Especially not after a decade of separation. Who knew how she could have changed, could have become a better or worse person in the intervening years?

  Unable to think of anything to say, I glanced down at her chart in my hands. Looked like she wanted to have a kid. Obviously, why else would she be at a fertility clinic? But she wasn’t married.

  Interesting.

  Of course, some women wanted to have a baby and they weren’t married but had a partner of some kind. Or they were serving as a surrogate for someone else. But I also had entirely single moms who wanted a kid and didn’t want to wait around for Mr. Right to have one. Good for them, I always said.

  Why wait on a perfect person who might or might not show up in order to have a baby? Why wait on that joy?

  Looked like Veronica was one of those women. I couldn’t help but admire that a bit. Her family was old-fashioned and that meant husband first, then a baby. Raising the kid on her own had to be shocking her snobbish parents half to death. I almost chuckled out loud at the vision.

  “Looks like you’re here for the initial examination and options assessment,” I said aloud. “I take it my head nurse went over the basic consultation with you?”

  I’d had to have Bridget take on some basic consultations just to make sure I didn’t overwork myself. And she had a good manner with the patients, she really got them to relax.

  Veronica nodded, and I realized that if she was here for that… I would have to examine her.

  Fuck.

  The idea of examining my ex-girlfriend probably should have made me feel awkward, maybe even uncomfortable, but instead… instead it made me excited. Made my cock twitch in interest.

  I’d had other women since Veronica, of course. I hadn’t been celibate for ten years. But I hadn’t had any serious relationships. I hadn’t wanted any - my career, my work, came first. And no woman that I’d been with had gotten me as hard or turned me on more than Veronica had. I’d thought, hey, maybe it was just nostalgia, but now, seeing her in person…

  She was mouthwatering.

  I had so many memories of the way she looked naked, how she smelled when I had her whimpering for me, how she tasted when I got my tongue on her clit, how she felt wrapped around me, clinging to me - it was like an assault from my senses.

  Shit, shit, shit.

  This was a big red flag. Not just for my heart, but for my profession. My patients trusted me to be objective and to treat them with respect in all areas.

  Men who worked in OB/GYN could be - well, they could be assholes, frankly. I’d heard so many goddamn horror stories in my time. Once I’d even punched a fellow doctor for the way he was talking about his patient. Doctors ogled their patients, looked at their breasts, gossiped about their bodies with other doctors, it was disgusting. There were some guys where they never actually said it out loud but you could just fucking tell that they’d gotten into this profession to leer at their patients like the misogynistic creeps they were.

  I wasn’t in it for that. I wanted my patients to feel safe and respected, to feel like they could trust me, especially with something so intimate and emotional.

  And I liked to think that I had succeeded it removing any personal thoughts or subjective feelings from the equation. I could be objective with my patients. I wasn’t turned on by them and I didn’t want to be.
>
  But with Veronica…

  If this was how I felt just from the first moment, then I wasn’t sure I’d be able to stay objective with her.

  I took a few deep breaths to steady myself. “I have to say I’m… I’m surprised to see you. It’s been, what, over ten years? It’s good to see you though.”

  Veronica looked surprised that I was being so friendly. “I…I’m sorry, I had no idea that Dr. Winters meant Ted Winters. I wouldn’t have…imposed on you, I mean, if I’d known.” She paused. “I… I never would’ve pegged you for a doctor,” she admitted, almost shyly.

  I shrugged. “People change.”

  That wasn’t the full truth, of course, but there was no way I could tell her that I’d become a doctor because she’d dumped me.

  Veronica had told me that I wasn’t serious about anything, that I wasn’t going to make anything of myself, and she needed to be with someone who would. Honestly, it had all sounded exactly the way that her parents would talk - and Veronica had always derided how her parents spoke, at least in private to me. I guess she’d been more like them than I’d thought.

  It had been a betrayal, a stab to the heart that I hadn’t expected and never wanted to repeat. But there had been one good thing, or sort of good thing, that had come out of it and that had been a real desire to prove myself.

  To prove to the world that I wasn’t a fuck up, a good-for-nothing.

  All of my high school career I had told myself that all I needed was Veronica. Once she had been gone, what had been left? I wasn’t going to despair and I wasn’t going to just give up. And I sure as hell wasn’t going to become a deadbeat drunk like my father. So I had decided to become one of the most respected professions out there: a doctor.

  To my surprise, I had found I really enjoyed anatomy and biology and all the rest. And a doctor helped people. The insurance system was a total bitch but I did what I could to work around that and make sure all of my patients got what they needed.

  Maybe, ironically, I should thank Veronica now for the way that she’d dumped me. It had lit a fire under my ass like nothing else and had set me on the very successful and lucrative - and fulfilling - career that I currently had.

  I doubted I’d be here today if it wasn’t for her hurtful words.

  But that felt a little too much like stirring the pot, so instead I said, “I know this might be awkward for you, so if you’d like to find another doctor I completely understand. I could recommend someone.”

  Veronica went silent, biting her lip in that way she used to always do when she was deep in thought. I wanted to bite her lip instead, get her to gasp, and then slide my tongue inside…

  Dammit, Ted, for the love of God, focus.

  “I appreciate the offer, but I’m okay.” Veronica looked at me and put a small smile on her face. “Your clinic was recommended to me by several friends, and I’d prefer not to have to find another clinic and go through the waiting process all over again. I want to have a baby sooner rather than later, you know?”

  I did know. All of my patients felt the same way. Humans were impatient creatures by nature, I sure as hell understood that. And when a person wanted a kid, why wait?

  “And, I mean…” Veronica gave a short laugh. “You’ve already seen everything, you know, so hopefully this will be less awkward.”

  I laughed, startled. I wouldn’t have expected such a practical reaction from her. Veronica had been… well she’d been very concerned about her appearance and how people perceived her. I would have thought that she would be frantic over gossip or rumors, or what people would say if they found out.

  But instead she was being rather laidback about the whole thing - and the one thing Veronica had never been before was laidback.

  I supposed that ten years really could change a person.

  It made me curious - curious in a way that I hadn’t planned on being when I first clapped eyes on her. If Veronica was the same person that she’d been when we were in high school, I wouldn’t have cared anymore about her, as sexy as she still was to me. That thick, rich dark hair and those hazel eyes were just as entrancing now as they’d been when she was seventeen—more so, actually, because now she had finished growing, her body fully developed, her face filled out. Before, she’d been a girl, but now she was a woman.

  Just sexual chemistry wasn’t enough, though. And you would be surprised how many people didn’t change from high school and instead stayed the same. But Veronica seemed different. And now I was wondering all over again which version of her was the real one.

  And I was determined to find out.

  2

  Veronica

  Oh God. I didn’t know whether to be embarrassed or just outright leave - honestly, leaving would’ve been the better choice. I had broken Ted’s heart back in the day and I’d known it. I’d known it back then, and I knew it now. Twelve years was a long time, sure, but was it really enough to forgive someone who’d hurt you and never apologized?

  But despite what common sense was telling me… something was making me stay. Maybe it was how Ted was putting me at ease, smiling at me and acting like there were no hard feelings whatsoever. He hadn’t even mentioned how I’d dumped him so carelessly.

  Of course, Ted had always been good at making me feel comfortable. Everyone else had just taken one look at his prickly demeanor and his dramatic clothes and decided that he wasn’t worth it but I’d seen past that. Ted had been a scared and hurt person so he’d been careful about letting people get in close. But he’d also been warmhearted and thoughtful.

  You wouldn’t have expected that, given the kind of bastard he had for an example growing up, but Ted had found a way to learn gentleness.

  He had been gentler than me, in the end.

  Instead of feeling more awkward, I found myself relaxing as Ted began to make conversation with me, easing me in with small talk. Maybe it was his soothing, rich voice, a voice that had deepened and rounded out since I’d last known him, changing from the voice of a boy to a man. Or maybe it was his relaxed shoulders and easy smile. Or maybe it was a combination of all the little things about him.

  “What have you been up to this past decade?” he asked.

  I couldn’t answer that. I couldn’t even begin. Instead I responded with, “You’ve clearly been up to a lot. Like medical school. And getting a normal haircut. It’s not green anymore.”

  Ted laughed. “Yeah, well, my professors at med school just didn’t seem to take me seriously with the mohawk and the piercings. Or the green hair. It sucks that people will still judge by appearances but in the end, it’s less work every morning. You remember how much hair gel I had to use.”

  “Yeah, twice as much as I did! I suppose the whole… look helps with your clients too.”

  “It does. People tend to get intimidated easily in this situation and I don’t blame them.” Ted put my chart down. “Speaking of, we should get started on the exam.” He washed his hands and put on gloves. “Just lie back, and let me know if you feel uncomfortable at any point, okay?”

  I nodded and did as I was told.

  As the examination began I felt tense, unable to keep myself relaxed. I would’ve been a bit tense no matter who the doctor was. I hadn’t had anyone besides myself touching me since I had divorced Chad. And the memories I did have weren’t pleasant. Chad had never assaulted me but I hadn’t been attracted to him in years. I’d had sex with him because it was expected, because I didn’t want to bother fighting over it.

  I’d almost been grateful when he’d started cheating on me, so much that he no longer had time to fuck me.

  As if he could sense my awkwardness, Ted kept up a steady stream of talk. I asked about the clinic and about med school and he seemed happy to trot out some amusing anecdotes, ones that I was sure he’d told to other clients to help them feel more at ease as well. But they were genuinely funny, and I found myself chuckling. Little by little I relaxed, and we were able to get through the exam just fine.


  Except for the little bit of me that kind of liked having his hands on me again.

  Okay, more than kind of.

  He wasn’t doing anything that was arousing, far from it, and he was wearing those plastic gloves - but still.

  I tried not to think about it, just holding my breath, so to speak, until the examination ended.

  “That should cover everything,” he said, taking off his gloves and throwing them in the trash. “I’ll step out and you can get dressed, and one of my nurses will show you to my office when you’re ready.” He gave me another warm smile and I felt myself melting a little.

  “Sure thing,” I said, nodding, waiting until he left the room to collapse onto the examination table.

  Holy shit. Holy shit.

  How was any of that even real? It felt like a dream - the craziest dream I’d ever had!

  Only if this was a dream, I had a feeling that I would be getting fucked on the examination table right now instead of just examined professionally.

  I got dressed quickly, not wanting to waste any time. I found myself, of all things, examining my outfit and wondering if it looked good - if I looked good - as if that mattered after he’d seen me in the paper hospital gown, or as if I had the power to change my outfit if I found it subpar.

  My outfit choice this morning had been about just being practical: a pair of ballet flats, a professional pencil skirt and a blouse. I had recently started to wear things like jeans after being told my whole life I had to look feminine and constantly wear dresses and skirts, and I did like my more laidback look that I was slowly adopting, but I still felt the most comfortable in more feminine outfits. It felt like armor. Like I was ready to face the world.

  At least now I could wear the darker colors that I preferred, like this black skirt, instead of wearing nothing but pastels all the time.

  I checked my hair in the mirror, running my fingers through it, and smoothed out my skirt. The whole time I chastised myself for caring so much, but at the same time… I couldn’t seem to stop myself.